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An Astrological guide to chocolate consumption: 

• Aries: You eat the whole bar on the way home from the shop
• Taurus: You love good chocolate, especially if it’s in expensive packaging
• Gemini: You choose chocolate by taking a bite out of each piece
• Cancer: You make even the smallest bar last for at least a month
• Leo: You like to be in charge of dividing up the chocolate
• Virgo: You cut up your chocolate into bite size pieces with a knife and fork
• Libra: You choose two bars; one for yourself and one for you to share
• Scorpio: You hide your chocolate and then become obsessed that someone will find it
• Sagittarius: You will only eat imported chocolate
• Capricorn: You like to be seen eating only the best and most expensive chocolate
• Aquarius: You love chocolate, but like to think you actually prefer carob health bars
• Pisces: You share your chocolate and forget to leave some for yourself

(Source: )

startedoutslow:

Aries: Angriest Asshole Award

Taurus: Number 2 and Loving It Award

Gemini: Superficial Nervous Wreck Award

Cancer: Crybaby Emotion-pants Award

Leo: Egotist Extraordinaire Award

Virgo: Petty Perfectionist Award

Libra: Indecisive “Individual” Award

Scorpio: Secretive Bastard Award

Sagittarius: Expert Exaggerator Award

Capricorn: Condescending Parent Award

Aquarius: Complete Weirdo Award

Pisces: Idealistic Idiot Award

(Source: yourclitoris)

Mercury turns Retrograde on March 12, 2012 at 12:49AM PDT, until April 4, 2012.

A planet is classified, ‘Retrograde’ (Rx) when it moves backwards through the Zodiac. The planet Mercury usually turns retrograde 3 times a year, for 3 weeks.  

What’s the big deal?

• The planet Mercury is associated with, and rules, communications, travel, and learning. Therefore, a Retrograde tends to affect these aspects of every day life for 3 weeks, every 4 months.

During Mercury Retrograde, the following may be affected: 

• Classes and school
• Sending correspondence 
• Signing of agreements/contracts 
• Mechanical equipment, like computers, radios, phones, clocks
• Travel, or travel equipment, like cars, bicycles, trains, planes

Mercury Retrograde is a good time: 

• Reviewing and revising 
• Cleaning out the (metaphorical or real) closet 
• Make repairs 
• Catching up on old business
• Do tasks you’ve been postponing
• Confirm reservations, check your facts
• Change your mind
• Deeply considering issues 

Pisces’ behavior in love: 

• is romantic
• eager to please
• adapts to the demands of the relationship
• being loved enables them to cope with a range of difficulties 
• emotionally involved 

Pisces’ expectations in love: 

• to have their dreams valued
• to be cared for romantically
• to be told they are loved
• all birthdays and anniversaries to be remembered 

Aquarius’ behavior in love:

• may try to appear glamorously aloof
• is apprehensive about deep emotional involvement
• genuinely wants friendship with loved one
• will guard their independence
• generous
• faithful once committed 

Aquarius’ expectations in love: 

• personal freedom
• faithfulness
• understanding and tolerance of their oddities
• partner to enjoy and welcome frequent visits from a wide variety of friends

Capricorn’s behavior in love: 

• is slow to make approaches
• only says, “I love you” when they truly mean it
• may worry about the emotional aspect of the relationship
• is caring, considerate and committed 

Capricorn’s expectations in love: 

• to be taken seriously 
• long-term commitment 
• faithfulness 
• privacy 
• to make a home and family
• to be respected 

Sagittarius’ behavior in love: 

• enjoys love on the move
• is inventive
• needs intellectual compatibility
• is honest
• enjoys the physical pleasures of love
• is generous and good-natured

Sagittarius’ expectations in love 

• not to be tied down; to retain freedom of movement
• to feel secure 
• honesty
• never to be falsely accused of philandering
• to be stimulated, amused and enjoyed 

Scorpio’s behavior in love: 

• is deeply attached 
• attracts you like a magnet
• is possessive
• hides emotions in public
• faithful
• remains true to their feelings

Scorpio’s expectations in love: 

• absolute faithfulness 
• demonstrative love 
• no great emphasis on romance
• genuine tenderness 
• acknowledgement of how lucky you are to have them

Libra’s behavior in love: 

• enjoys romance
• will ignore your shortcomings 
• doesn’t want an overly demonstrative partner
• gives you complete attention 

Libra’s expectations in love: 

• to be supported and cared for 
• faithfulness
• to be free to get on with their work and/or play
• a partner with separate interests 
• to be amused
• to be admired